Jessica Ralston's Blog

To Do List Before I Leave China (In No Particular Order)

• Pack.
• Travel to Dandong. Wave hello to North Korea, go to the Hushan Great Wall, have some good Korean barbecue.
• Clean the apartment. Top to bottom.
• Take and print pictures of each of my classes. Write my e-mail on the back, give to students on the last day of their classes with me.
• Get the bulk of the timeline business of my novel done and out of the way. That part takes up a lot of floor space. Neither an airplane nor my parent’s house have that kind of room.
• Did I mention pack? This also includes sorting through all the crap I’ve amassed over the year (souvenirs, cheap books, silly tourist T-shirts) and deciding what comes home with me, what gets thrown out, what gets passed on to the next teacher.
• Write up detailed class descriptions for each of my classes and one one ones for the next teacher’s reference.
• Buy more chopsticks, little tchotchke things, and some of the non-perishable foodstuffs that I want to bring home (date flakes, tomato and egg convenient noodles, baijiu, sachima… I’m pretty sure there’s something missing from this list).
• Do laundry. My mother would kill me if I came back with dirty laundry. ETA1: S1 informed me that this is included in packing. Okay, then.
• ETA2: Did I mention WORK? Yes, I still have classes in between all of this. Sigh.

There’s too much to do! I have about two weeks left here, and traveling to Dandong is looking less and less likely. That’s upsetting because I really want to see North Korea (from the Chinese side of the Yalu River, but still) and the easternmost section of the Great Wall.

…Instead of sitting here writing this blogpost, I really should be writing these items on a piece of paper and start doing them.

Yeah.

Today, October 20, is my eight month-iversary in China!

*throws confetti and blows a party horn*

It has definitely been a roller coaster of emotions over the past eight months. There have been times when I wanted to throw the towel in and say, “I’m going home, contract be damned.” Those feelings were sparked at multiple points by homesickness, frustration with the job, frustration with the roommates (who are also co-workers), and frustration with China and its culture. But, I told myself that I had committed to this (both publicly and personally) and I would stick with it to the end.

Then of course, there were other times when I was having a blast and sure, I missed home, but at that moment, everything was going pretty well. Although, I have never, in all my time here, said, “Oh, this is definitely a place I’d like to live.” I have never, ever said that about China.

The job is all sorts of rewarding, just like I had hoped it would be when I started. I have come to know my students (the ones I’ve had since February), on a personal level and I’ve become rather attached to them, particularly a group of 7-year-olds whose first English class ever was with me. When they started in March, the could barely say, “My name is ____,” properly, but now they’re asking me what my favorite food is, what my favorite color is and what my favorite animal is. It’s very gratifying to witness this transformation. I also have a class of about six 10-year-olds, and their English is good enough that they can actually argue (in a good-natured manner) with me. They happen to be my favorite class.

One of the biggest lessons I learned as an exchange student to Brasil in high school have come into play here: if you’re feeling homesick, stop talking to people from home, and instead, keep busy. Go out and see and do things, make plans with people, take a day trip. When I’m feeling particularly sad, I make plans with the assistants, who I’ve become quite close with. This type of job can get lonely sometimes, but you just have to make the best of it, and take the good with the bad.

It doesn’t feel like it’s been eight months (although I bet if you ask my mother, she’ll tell you different), but if the changing leaves are any indication, it has been. I am so excited for the next four months, and the months after that!

The sun rising over a flight of stairs at the Mutianyu Great Wall.

When I was making my west along the Great Wall a few weeks ago, I couldn’t help but think of all the feet that had tread the wall hundreds of years ago, and how I was retracing their footsteps. The thought didn’t occur to me until I was in a guardhouse and had an odd experience with my camera and battery (I watch Ghost Hunters, so what?), but when I started the climb again, and I found these stairs, I realized that soldiers had climbed these stairs on the lookout for the Mongols hundreds of years before the first tourist set foot on it. It was awe inspiring, just as I think seeing the pyramids in Egypt would be, and seeing the Parthenon in Greece.

The day we climbed it we were lucky: we went early to avoid the wave of tourists (it was Chinese National Day), and the sun hadn’t burned off the fog that rested in the green valleys. When you come up over the rise of the first big hill and catch the view, it can be breathtaking. The Wall stretches literally for miles, following the ridges and dips of the mountains. It’s so…vast.

I found it interesting that a civilization would build this wall to keep people out, and for me, that rang true of present day China, in a way.

They do their best to keep news and world events out, while keeping their citizens uninformed. My mind jumps to the Chinese people being mute (no freedom of speech or freedom of the press here) and dumb (news coming in is either censored or tweaked to be more palatable to the CCP).

It makes me wonder about the quality and quantity of the Occupy Wall Street protests. I imagine they say something along the lines of, “See? This is what a democratic, capitalist society brings you. Do you really want this?” so as not to incite similar protests. This is why they block international social networking sites such as Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare and Google+.

I often wonder if they know they’re being oppressed, but most of them seem pretty content to just live their lives, especially older people. I imagine younger people in the bigger cities like Beijing or Shanghai are slightly more informed than the average Chinese citizen, but they have the tech savvy to get around the blocks.

I didn’t mean for this post to turn into something slightly political, but the topic has been on my mind quite a bit recently, because my NaNo novel is about a government not unlike China, that censors websites for much the same reason as the CCP. It was originally meant to be a pretty picture to look at, but I’m not apologizing for what the post has turned into.

Pretty picture though! If you ever have the chance, go to The Great Wall, it’s beautiful. And, it’ll make you think.

I feel like I’m training for a marathon. And I’m totally not prepared. You really have to mentally prepare and not only make the time to do the training, but make yourself do it, too, just like with any other sport.

I remember when I was in high school and I joined the indoor track team. The first month/month and a half was brutal. I was sore all the time, I dreaded changing into my warm-up clothes and running shoes, but I had promised a friend, so I did. (OK, so peer pressure is involved in this now, as well. Nice, just what I want to happen.) But then I found that after I pushed through the burn, the pain and the “Oh god, not again, I don’t want to ruuuun,” I actually enjoyed track practice. I looked forward to the warm-up run, I looked forward to chatting with my teammates, I looked forward to lifting the weights with the other throwers. And, when I didn’t run for a few days in a row, I felt weird. I was restless, bored, and my appetite even changed a little. I missed running. My body missed it, my mind missed it.

So in my head now, I’ve talked myself into believing that I have to condition myself! I have to train myself to sit down and write every day. I have to start flexing my writing muscle, lifting small weights (750words and one post a day on the blog) to being the ultimate champion (750words, two posts a day, and NaNoWriMo, which I’ve set a daily word count goal of 2,000)! I’ve actually set an alarm to sound at nine at night to remind me to sit down and write. I figure it’s far enough away from midnight that I can successfully do all my required words before the clock strikes midnight. Also I’m a procrastinator of the most epic proportions, so that gives me time to dillydally before I absolutely must buckle down and write.

I’ll do it every day, because I have to. And slowly, I’ll push through whatever problems I have (writer’s block, no time, no motivation, whatever), and come through on the other side, enjoying writing, looking forward to the time I manage to carve out of my day to sit down and write and be with my thoughts and characters. And then, if I happen to miss a few days in a row, I’ll feel the “pain” of my writing muscle not being used after a few days. I’m hoping this is what writing will turn into for me.

On a lighter note, tomorrow is my day off! So I will be testing out a new way to outline/plot, while sucking down mugs of tea and exercising that writing muscle.

When I come home on Saturday and Sunday nights (usually with takeaway from the vegetable place around the corner) I really don’t have the mental capacity for anything more strenuous than changing into pajamas and collapsing at my desk in a miserable, moaning heap. (I work about 8-10 hours on those days.) During my boneless, mental mush time, I tend to put on a few episodes of Friends just to unwind.

My sisters and I love Friends. There was one summer were S1 and I watched every episode in the ten seasons. The pair of us would sit on the couch in the living room after everyone went to bed and watch a few episodes. This would baffle our mother because she said (and still says), “I don’t know how you can watch so many episodes in a row. Doesn’t it get annoying after a while?” I don’t know either, but we can, and no, it doesn’t get annoying. There are some episodes we skip, just to get to our favorites within a season because we know it that well. We’ve seen every episode at least once, and a lot of episodes more than a handful of times. Nearly everything can be brought back to a specific moment in the Friends timeline. It’s become a point of discussion for us.

S2 resisted for a while, but eventually we brought her over to the “dark side,” which I think happened she she hit the age where suddenly adult humor makes sense, rather than just being funny because everyone else is laughing, or the delivery is a bit humorous. However, S1 is still the bigger fan. If she catches an episode on TV and I’m around, I’ll throw on the same episode and we’ll watch and chat on Skype.

It’s nice to have something like Friends to remind you of the special bond you share with your sisters, even though I’m in China and my sisters are in New York.

Sidenote In the spirit of helping fellow Wrimos, please head over to my friend Theo’s NaNo blog and join me in supporting his efforts! November is right around the corner!

In preparation for National Novel Month (a little less than three weeks away), I’ve decided I’m going to post every day for the rest of October.

You have been forewarned.

It’s part of Post A Day/Week 2011. I’m a little late on the 2011 thing (it’s October) and on the 30 days of posting thing (it’s October 13), but better late than never. It’s not just in preparation for NaNoWrimo, I’ve actually wanted to start blogging more. I used to blog a lot, on my defunct LiveJournal account, but it was mostly late teens/early-20s whinging. This time it’ll be mid-20s whinging with a side of writerly thoughts, as well as the rest of my stay in China, and what I’ve been reading/watching/listening to/taking pictures of.

So, tag along if you want to, comment, like, read along and let me know what you think.

I’ll be posting through the month of November too!

1. Tomorrow I’ll have been in China for six months, officially. I’m not doing anything to celebrate because I’m working all day tomorrow and Sunday. Maybe I’ll buy some cake.
2. Also, starting on Wednesday, I’ll be living with a dude. (A sloppy, lazy boy. Ugh. A million times ugh.) Other Teacher is returning to the States. Her contract is up. I get her room though, which is bigger and has a comfier bed.
3. That is all. Thank you.

*trudges off to write and edit some more*

I have 1111 words so far, and we’re two and a half hours in. I feel like that’s a pretty good word count for two hours in. I am not at a stopping point, at all, but I feel like I’m going at a good pace.

(Obviously I’m writing this instead of doing any NaNo writing…so begins the procrastination.)

There is a write-in tomorrow that I plan on going to, so I can bump up the word count and do some organizational things during the day tomorrow.

Off to write more words!

1. What songs are you currently addicted to?
“Hurricane Drunk” by Florence + the Machine, “She Needs Me” by Fyfe Dangerfield, “One Life Stand” by Hot Chip, “Soft as Chalk” by Joanna Newsom

2. What are you currently reading?
“About A Boy” by Nick Hornby

3. What was the last movie you saw?
“Sex and the City 2.” It was a waste of time and money.

4. What makes you angriest/most frustrated right now?
People not calling me back in regards to jobs. I have no money right now, people. Come on.

5. Favourite book and why?
“High Fidelity” by Nick Hornby because it’s funny, and Rob is always more angry than I am anytime I start reading it. Also the music mentioned in it is top notch.

6. What are your current addictions?
Merlin, summertime, Florence + the Machine, Aaron Sorkin.

7. What is your favourite t-shirt?
This gray, super soft Dave Matthews Band 2009 summer tour shirt. I could live in it.

8. Something about you that most people don’t know? Extra points if it is interesting.
I speak Portuguese.

9. What was the last thing you bought?
“About A Boy” when I was at Barnes & Noble with J.

10. Do you have more friends online or off?
Offline, I would hope.

11. Something that made you laugh today?
No laughing from this chick today. Ugh.

12. Favourite non-alcoholic beverage?
A cup of tea.

13. What was the last thing you ate?
Ho-hos. PMS allows for this.

14. Favourite website(s)?
Twitter, Gmail, Facebook, Write or Die, BBC News, New York Times.

15. What are your plans for tomorrow?
Tomorrow is Friday? I’d like to escape to my grandparent’s house. It’s quiet there and I can write.

16. What kind of music is contained in your hard drive?
What don’t I have on here? Really.

17. Favourite colour?
Blue. And gray.

18. Pet peeve?
Bad grammar.

19. Guilty pleasure(s)?
That show True Beauty on TV. It’s so utterly ridiculous.